I wish you still loved me
by Crazy-Ninja-Chick
Summary: The event of Judgement day with a little twist. three chapter ficket with spoilers if you haven't seen Judgement Day
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, here is a little three chapter ficket that I wrote I dreamed about it and I wrote it down ans well you have to read to find out**

**Disclamier: Don't own anything**

Jenny had been shot

The words Ziva had said to him over the phone kept replaying in his head. He should've been the one to go with Jenny to L.A not DiNozzo or David, he would have kept her safe no matter what she had said. He had been filled in over the phone, jen had told them to take the rest of the trip off and she had gone to Deckers diner with Franks. The two got there just as the last two shots had rang into the air. They rushed in and found for dirtbags dead and Jenny, who had taken multiple bullets, lying on the floor barely alive in a pool of blood, her blood. She had been airlifted to Bethesda after she had been stabilized.

He was in her study now, having just killed Natasha. He rummaged around her desk and found a piece of paper with two word written in her beautiful handwriting,

Dear Jethro

He wondered what she was going to tell him, his mind just started to wander when his cell was Bethesda saying he was listed as next of kin and they needed to come over and give his consent on something.

He got down to the hospital and Doctor Pitt was waiting on him.

" Long time no see agent Gibbs, its good to see you of course not under the circumstances."

"What do you need me for?"

Dr. Pitt beckoned for him to follow and He led Gibbs to a room. When he stepped in he saw Jenny lying on the bed hooked up to countless machines, with her hair setting the pillow on fire.

" The machines are the only thing we believe to be keeping her alive, we need to know do you want us to keep her on them or pull the plug? Just as a note you should no that if we keep her on the machine then she still may never wake up. She lost a lot of blood and with the tumor she was already dying."

" Can you give me a few minutes to decide what i want to do."

The Dr. nodded and stepped out of the room to give him some privacy. Gibbs didn't want to pull the plug but he knew Jenny would kill him if he made her artificaly alive.

" Hey Jenny its Gibbs. They wanna pull the plug on you. I know the last thing you want is to feel weak and be living off of machines. Oh well I guess we both know this life was not the way we wanted it to turn out bt our decisions were ares and there is nothing we can do about the past I hope you know that I still love you and I wish you still loved me and that I could just hold you one more night. Ok I guess this is goodbye and i hope to see you on the other side love."

He wiped an uncharactoristic tear from his eye and called in the doc and gave them the ok to pull the plugs. The doctor nodded solemly and Gibbs placed a final kiss on her cheek and the docs pulled the plug and the heart moniter went beeeeeep.....

**To be continued............**


	2. Chapter 2

_Previoulsly_

_the plug was pulled and the moniter went beeeeeeep.._

.....beeeeep beeeep beeeep.

Okay so there is a God, Jenny thought to herself. Jethro was right she didn't want to live off a machine and when they pulled the plug she had willed her heart to continue to beep. She hadn't finished the letter to hin and she'd be damned if he didn't get to know how she felt. When her heart did beat she heard Gibbs sigh but he was choking on tears. He needed to know how she felt, what she had been lying to herself about for years, ever since Paris.

The last two weeks she had been trying to wake up, to open her eyes but she couldn't. Jethro came by everyday and told her what a horrible job Vance was doing as temporary director and how he was starting to feel like Ducky, he would talk to her and she wouldn't answer. He would beg her to wake up and, getting no responce but the beeping of the moniter, would kiss her cheek and leave. She tried to open her eyes and started to see white all around her, finally she was getting somewhere. The doctors noticed the tiny flutter of her eyelids and rushed in.

"Jennifer if you can hear me try and wiggle your fingers."

It took a lot more effort then it should but she was able to move her fingers a tiny bit.

"Good now try and open your eyes a little at a time."

She started to but the lights were too bright so she squeezed them shut again.

" Dim the lights now!!!"

The lights dimmed and she slowly opened her eyes completely.

" Hello Director can you tell me the date?"

Jen serched her brain to try and remember but could only come up with the month and year.

" I cannot recall the date bt it is June 2008."

" Alright Mrs. Sgeppered we will call Agent Gibbs and we need you to get some rest."

The doctors left the room and she just sat there with a ghost of a smile on her face and closed her eyes. She had cheated death and Jethro was safe, now all she had to do was finish that letter.

Meanwhie Gibbs was in a MTAC confrence call with Vance and SecNav. He was just about to loose his cool hen his phone rang.

" Yeah gibbs.'

He shut the phome and threw the headset to the ground, leaving Vance and SecNav staring with their mouths hanging slightly open. The last thing they heard of him was two words as he shut the door.

_"She's Alive!!"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Alrighty here is the last Chapter/drbabble. I hope those of you who have actually read this and eviewed for me, I hope you liked it and this would have been true if I owned them so here comes the usual**

**Disclaimer**

I do not own anything except the plot bunny in my head.

**On with the story...........**

Gibbs came through the door two weeks later, jenny had been released and he wanted to come check on her. She was sitting in her study writing what he hoped was the letter she had been neglecting lately.

"Jenny?"

Jen stiffened and looked up, but relaxed when she saw it was Jethro. She smiled at him and he smiled back, pulling a chair over to where she was.

" Is that the letter?"

" So what if it is, what if I know another Jethroand its for him?"

" Exactly how mny Jethros do you know Jen?"

"Just one"

_One Incredibly Handsome one, _she added in her head.  
" Of course its for you and yes I finished it right before you walked in."

" Well can you read it to me/"

Jen smiled and hit a button on her stereo next to her desk and soft country music floated out of the speakers mixing with the velvet soft tone of Jens voice in Gibbs'ear

_Its not easy sayin this to you  
Its the hardest thing Ive ever had to do  
but boy before you go  
I want you to know _

Dear Jethro

As you already know I am very sick, I have a cancerous tumor in my brain that s slowly growing worse. I do not want to dwell on that because it reminds me of all the things I will never be able to do now, the things I had the chance to do before but gave up. Right now there are somethings I need to say and you need to know, I have never felt comfortable sharing my feelings or feeling as vunerable as I do now but these things have gone unsaid for far too long.

_I wish you strength, when times are hard  
Oh, I wish with all my heart you find just what youre lookin for  
I wish you joy, I wish you peace  
and that every star you sees within your reach  
and I wish you still loved me_

Back in Paris, when I left, I made the biggest mistake of my life when I walked away from killing Natasha, from my only love, from you. I chose my career and it has gotton me this far but I would still rather go back and stay in the warmth of your arms, maybe I would still be in your arms today. I hope that when I go you do not change, I hope you raise hell and keep your hardass attitude that you are so famous for. I hope you not only always get your guy but I hope you can find someone who cares for you more then herself, someone who can love you more then I still do. I know its not the way Gibbs roles but i hope you ca hold on to a little bit of peace in your heart.

_I wish that things were different, you know that  
but I still happy for the times we had  
you mean the world to me  
oh, baby please believe _

`I wish that we could have been more then friends our whole lives, if I could do it diffrently I would, but of course you always have known that. I am still not proud of how we parted, a Dear John letter and the front door open, you deserve so much more then that, a true face to face explenation. I cannot give you one because I have no idea what was running through my head when I left. I know I was the one who ended it all but you still mean the world to me, it hurts to watch you walk in from a case bruised or hurt. Make sure you tell the team how much they truely mean to you, I was lucky and got the second chance to finish writing this letter but you may not be so lucky. You do not want to go without them truely knowing you love them all very much, like the children you never got to have.

_Oh, losing you is tearin me apart  
but a part of me will be with you  
no matter where you are _

Even after all these years I am still kicking myself for what I did to you. My heart is completly torn and no matter how hard I try to put it back together I cannot. Even though you do not know it, you have always held a little piece of me in you and until there us a you and me, which I do not expect to happen, I will never be whole again. I hope that I can now go with you knowing the truth i have finally made peace with you and that is what I needed.

_I wish you strength, when times are hard  
Oh, I wish with all my heart you find just what youre lookin for  
I wish you joy, I wish you peace  
and that every star you sees within your reach  
and I wish you still loved me_

To finish off my note I have a few llast words I need to get off my chest. I know it sounds cliche but life is too short and love is too valuable not to tell people how much they mean to you, I still love you Jethro. My last intention is to make my death harder on you but the last thing I ask is not at all easy for me to say and even harder for you to understand,

I wish you still loved me.

Jen put the letter down and looked over at Jethro, she could almost see the wheels turning in his head, comprehending all she just said. He looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers and he leaned in and kissed her softly. When he pulled away he smiled at the flushed look on her face.

" You do not have to wish Jenny I still love you so much."

He brought his lips back to hers and all she thought before her thoughts turned strictly to the man pressing his lips to hers was, _OK there really is a God!_

** So what you think? The song is " I wish you Still loved me" by Jo Dee Mesina and I listened to it and found the two of them popping up in my head. So review and tell me what you think?**

**End**


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